


A New Fixation

by mccrumpet89



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Getting Together, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccrumpet89/pseuds/mccrumpet89
Summary: Romilda Vane storms into the Gryffindor common room one day and makes a beeline for Parvati Patil.A humorous one-shot, preferably enjoyed with a side of not-at-all-tampered-with chocolate cauldrons.
Relationships: Parvati Patil/Romilda Vane
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	A New Fixation

"ABSTINENCE!"

Several heads in the Gryffindor common room turned at the sound of the password being screamed at the Fat Lady. The portrait swung out, and Romilda Vane tumbled angrily through the hole. One look at her seething glance and hunched shoulders convinced bystanders to look hastily back down at their half-finished essays and Gobstone games.

Romilda stalked into the middle of the room, eyes narrowed, looking around carefully. When she spotted her prey, she took several deliberate steps and flounced into the empty chair opposite. "Parvati," Romilda said in a loud, unhinged voice.

Parvati, who had watched her entrance and approach with increasing alarm, shared a concerned glance with Lavender. Romilda, an unusually pretty yet precocious fourth year, had never addressed her before, and Parvati wasn't sure that today was the best day for an introduction.

"Yes, Romilda?" she said plaintively, hoping that Romilda would pick up on her cue and bring her voice down a few decibels.

No such luck. "You went to the Yule ball with Harry Potter, right?" It was a statement, not a question. "What does it take to get noticed by that dense, boorish snob?! He doesn't talk to anyone in the common room except the Weasleys and Granger, he doesn't pick up on even the most obvious flirting tactics, and now I find out that he doesn't even eat chocolate - he pawns it off on his friends! Stupid Ron and his stupid stomach," she mumbled spitefully.

What did you say about Won-Won?" Lavender said with a raised brow. It was a testament to Romilda's visceral fury that Lavender hadn't immediately leapt across the table to slap her for the perceived slight, but Parvati could see that even Lavender was a bit cowed by Romilda's display.

"Oh, your boyfriend is in the hospital wing, " Romilda said nonchalantly.

"WON-WON!" Lavender screamed and almost fell out of her seat in her race to the portrait hole.

_ Wait _ , Parvati wanted to shout after her,  _ don't leave me alone with Romilda _ ! But Lavender was gone, and Parvati wanted to experience whatever was going down in the hospital wing even less. She turned back to Romilda, who was glaring at her.

"So. You. Harry Potter. Dancing. Date. How did you do it?" Romilda asked.

Parvati sighed. "I didn't use a love potion on him or anything, if that's what you're thinking. He asked me to the ball because Cho was already taken. And honestly, Romilda, he's not that interesting a person anyway - well, besides the whole "Chosen One" schtick." She tried to smile reassuringly at Romilda, who was leaning forward, listening intently without taking her eyes off Parvati’s face. After a few seconds, her smile faltered under the unblinking stare, just as Romilda also shook her head and leaned back.

"Look, Parvati, I'm sorry he dumped you after just one night, but he's the Quidditch captain, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One! And he wouldn't look half bad, either, if he ever brushed his hair. No, Harry Potter will be mine!" She said this last bit rather loudly again, and a couple of students closest to their table looked up alarmingly.

Parvati sighed. One boy-crazed friend was enough to handle - what was she going to do with the distraught girl in front of her, preventing her from finishing her latest astrology essay for Professor Trelawney?

"But you can help," Romilda said, leaning forward intensely again. "You know Harry Potter better than most. You can do some reconnaissance on what he likes, what he wants . . . Thanks, Parvati!" She smirked at Parvati with a little less menace glistening in her eyes than before, hastily stood up, and ran to her room to finish her tantrum, much to the mixed relief of the others in the common room.

_ Damn _ , thought Parvati.

~~~

For the next week Parvati covertly watched Harry and decided that the only way Romilda Vane would ever catch Harry's eye would be if she shrunk about a foot in height, turned her hair vivid orange, started dating Dean Thomas, and called herself Ginny Weasley. The thought of being the one to tell Romilda this, though, made her groan softly in exasperation.

Parvati was sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire, next to Hermione, who was happily scratching away at an essay that was already over twenty inches long. Parvati noted this and shuddered. Lavender was nowhere to be seen, thank Merlin - probably having a quiet snuffle to herself in a dusty corner of the castle about her and  ~~ Wo ~~ Ron’s sudden breakup.

_ Way harsh, Parvati _ , she admonished herself. But she wouldn't deny herself a break after seven full days of constant consolation. Hermione was a little dull and had  _ no _ appreciation for the fine art of divination, but at least she didn't talk about "Won-Won" constantly.

Her break was short-lived. Romilda dropped into the third armchair without warning and leaned over the armrest to face Parvati full-on. "So?"

Romilda was looking much better today, Parvati noted. She had scarlet and gold ribbons threaded through her curly brown hair, and unlike last week, her fresh face had no trace of running mascara and smudged lipstick. The intense gaze remained, though. She sighed and set aside her book. "Yes, Romilda?" she asked. Hermione's quill slowed down.

"Did you get any dirt on Potter?" She asked without preamble. Hermione's quill stopped entirely, and although she didn't look up, Parvati could tell she was listening intently.

Parvati gently bit her lip, thinking about how best to break it to Romilda without having the volatile girl lose it for the second time in a week. Really, Parvati couldn't take any more. "Welllll . . . " She started, "I don't think that Harry is . . . looking for anything right now," she chickened out.

Instead of the outburst she was expecting, Romilda looked bemused. She tilted her head to the side a little and stared at Parvati with a thoughtful look. “Really.”

Parvati steeled herself and tried again. “Wh-what I mean to say is, is that I don’t think that this fixation is good for you.” She paused, expecting an attack, but Romilda just sat there expectantly, quirking her eyebrow to show Parvati that she should continue.  _ What a power play - are we sure she isn’t a Slytherin in disguise? _ Parvati wondered. “Well, you don’t seem to have anything in common - do you even like Quidditch? - and Harry seems to be impervious to every attempt to accost him - not just yours - and, well, I think he may be interested in someone else.”

“Ginny Weasley,” Romilda stated matter-of-factly.

“Erhm, yes. Glad you’ve noticed. But besides, you are much more social, and you care about grades more than him, and quite frankly I think his hygienic habits would drive you up the wall, seeing as you’re usually so put together.” Parvati paused, wondering how she got so off-track. “So, all in all, I think . . .”

“I’m barking up the wrong tree,” Romilda finished for her.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s a muggle expression.” She looked bemused again. “And I agree. I’ve taken a step back and realized that I was attracted to his fame, not his person.” She languidly stretched out her arms and legs, like a cat getting up from a satisfactory nap. Parvati watched her warily, trying to reconcile this calm, rational Romilda with the storm she faced last week.

“So, in whose direction do you think I  _ should _ be expending my energies?” Romilda asked offhandedly as she examined her cuticles.

Hermione made a small, almost inaudible snigger, but it was enough for Parvati to finally break away from Romilda’s spell and look over at her concernedly. Hermione just kept her eyes glued to her parchment, but a small crease at her mouth betrayed her amusement.

“Parvati?” Romilda asked again.

“Uhm, maybe you need to take a break for a little bit. Take some time to heal. Go outside and get some fresh air,” Parvati sputtered. _ Fresh air?! Who am I, my mother? Who tells heartbroken teenagers to go get some  _ fresh air _?! Although, now that I think about it, a long walk around the lake might do Lavender some good . . . _

Romilda smiled, perfectly straight white teeth flashing at Parvati to let her know that she knew the brush-off was kindly meant. “Sounds nice, thanks. Wanna join?”

“I have to finish this chapter, sorry.” And Parvati found that she was a little bit sorry.  _ Strange _ .

“Okay. See ya later, alligator!” And with that second mysteriously animal-related quip of the day, Romilda sprung up and virtually skipped to the portrait hole. Once she was outside, Parvati and Hermione gave up the pretense of working and stared at each other in mutual horrid fascination.

“That was . . .”

“A lot.” This time, Hermione didn’t try to hide her laughter.

“I . . . don’t even know. But that could have gone a lot worse.” _ Hopefully things will get back to normal now _ , she thought.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, Parvati couldn’t help but notice that things had decidedly  _ not _ gone back to normal. Lavender was showing her face in public again, but she would grimace and squeeze whatever was in her hands every time Ron was in the vicinity. Parvati had taken to surreptitiously transforming her water glasses into plastic at mealtimes.

More to the point, though, was that Parvati’s own peace of mind was disturbed by a series of increasingly odd events. At first, the small occurrences seemed incidental. A crimson ribbon bookmark holding her place, when she could have sworn that she left her book open on the coffee table in the common room. Her hat, lost in the Forbidden Forest after a particularly windy Care of Magical Creatures lesson, reappearing on the banister leading to her dormitory. At lunch, for the first time in her six years at Hogwarts, samosas gracing the Gryffindor table. They were a smidgen overcooked, but she called Padma over from the Ravenclaw table and they delighted in the break from treacle tart (which the elves served nearly every day, considering it was the favorite dish of one Harry Potter).

The most disconcerting change was that Romilda continued to pop up at unexpected moments to chat with Parvati. The first time, she was terrified that Romilda was there with more questions to aid in her quest to snag the Chosen One, but she didn’t even mention him. Instead, she asked Parvati a question about porcupine quills, which they were now using in Potions class. Next time, it was to tell Parvati that she should wear her hair down more often, since it was so sleek and shiny. Flustered, Parvati braided her hair for three days straight after that one. But Romilda was persistent, and even Lavender was warming up to her constant interruptions, asking her about the latest muggle hair trends at one point. Lavender was disconcerted to find that crimped hair was rapidly going out of fashion, but seemed intrigued by something that Romilda kept calling “The Rachel.” Unsure of whether they were still talking about hair, Parvati sat that one out. Romilda would join them both occasionally, sometimes chatting, sometimes just silently working on her homework.

All in all, it was a series of unconnected, yet surprisingly pleasant events. But when Parvati returned to her table at the library after a bathroom break late one evening, she noticed something new and inexplicable. A brand-new box of chocolate cauldrons sat on top of her potions books. She looked around, but her section of the library was deserted.

What the . . .? She sat down and stared at the box apprehensively. The plastic wrap was fully sealed, and the normal brown and gold ribbon had been taken off and substituted for a crimson and gold one. There was a small white card tucked underneath the ribbons, but it was blank. She slowly reached over to pull the card out, and a frilly pattern of crimson hearts and lace began to blossom.

Parvati panicked. “Oh. No. Oh HELL no.” She gingerly lifted the whole box with just her thumb and index finger and ran it over to the trash, chucking it in and briskly brushing her hands together in satisfaction. Happy to have escaped whatever the latest joke craze from the Weasley twins might have been, she tucked her legs under the table and focused on the first five inches of her Potions essay.

~~~

“So you don’t really like me, huh.”

Parvati nearly jumped out of her seat at the sudden interruption. She had been holed up in the library for the last three nights, feverishly writing about how the Five Principal Exceptions to Gamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration interacted with the ingredients for this week’s experiment. The sudden sound of a human voice was jarring after the oppressive silence.

“Romilda! You scared me! What?” she asked, settling back down into her chair. Romilda stayed standing, frowning at Parvati with her arms crossed.

“You don’t like me.” She said this as a statement, her intonation flat.

Parvati frowned in return. “Why would you even think that?”

Romilda sighed. “Well, I’ve tried to get your attention these past few weeks, and you’ve ignored everything. The chats, the small gifts, the compliments -  _ I  _ even looked up Gamp’s Law yesterday to help  _ you  _ with your essay over breakfast, and you acted like it was a totally normal thing for a fourth year to understand!” She huffed, but it lacked the venom that Parvati came to associate with Romilda when she was the least bit upset. “You threw away my chocolates yesterday after reading the tag - and I didn’t even put love potion in them this time or anything! What,” she continued, eyes starting to glisten, “is the use of being ‘Gryffindor brave’ if people don’t even acknowledge your efforts to  _ woo them the right way _ !”

Parvati couldn’t help it - her jaw went slack as she considered all the developments that arose from that monologue. She picked out one thread and asked tentatively, “You gave me chocolates?”

“YES!” Romilda shouted, throwing up her hands. “Why else would it say my name on the tag?!”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Parvati breathed. “I - I didn’t read the tag. I assumed it was from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes and threw them away before something bad could happen,” Parvati continued. Then, she thought about the other things that Romilda had said and giggled. “You - you were trying to  _ woo _ me?”

Romilda brushed away some moisture from her eyes and tried to glare, but she looked more heartbroken than anything. Parvati’s mind raced over the last few weeks. “So . . . the ribbon, the hat . . . that was all you?”

“Forget it,” Romilda croaked and turned towards the door.

“No, wait!” Parvati leapt up and grabbed Romilda’s wrist. Romilda was a solid foot taller than her, but she maintained eye contact. “Are you mental?! How was I supposed to know about all this without you telling me? Like, ‘oh yeah, here’s the hat I lost in the forest. Better go thank  _ Romilda _ !’ Honestly!” She paused. “Besides, I thought you were fixated on Harry.”

“NO!” Romilda shouted. Then, looking abashed for once, she glanced around to double-check that she didn’t disturb anyone. She crossed her arms defensively. “I honestly haven’t thought about that in weeks! Except, he seemed rather off-put by my efforts, so I tried to be more subtle with you.” She crossed her arms defensively.

Parvati held back a laugh. “So that’s what you meant by ‘wooing me the right way?’ Romilda,” she said more seriously, “I don’t need chocolates or outrageous compliments or  _ extremely subtle _ gifts in order to be wooed. You could have just asked me to Hogsmeade or something.”

“I did,” Romilda reminded her. “You turned to Lavender and said, ‘Sounds like fun!’ and we spent the whole day shopping for hair creams. It was a bit much, even for me, but she’s your friend, so . . .”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Parvati blushed. “Well, this is  _ me _ asking  _ you _ , Romilda, if you want to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade next weekend.”

Romilda’s eyes lit up. “Just like that? No third wheel, no love potion? Are you serious?”

“I’m serious,” Parvati smiled as Romilda bounced with excitement and then grabbed Parvati and pulled her into a hug. “Damn, I can’t believe those chocolate cauldrons were really safe. What a waste.”

“Well,” Romilda said with a mischievous grin, “They didn’t contain a  _ true _ love potion of the  _ illegal _ variety. But they mayyy have been imbued with something of my own invention - a subtle hint to notice my smile, a nudge to think about me when I wasn’t around, effects like that.”

Parvati smiled. “I don’t need drugged chocolates for that.”

~~~

_ Two Days Earlier _

Ron’s eyes lit up at the sight of a brand-new box of chocolate cauldrons sitting on top of the trash bin in the library. He looked around furtively for the owner, but no one was in sight. He knew he shouldn’t, given the last time, but these still had the plastic wrap on them, and he was sooo hungry . . . 

When Harry and Hermione joined him in the library after talking to Professor McGonagall, Ron was happily munching through his fourth cauldron. Harry raised an eyebrow. “What,” Ron said defensively. “They were FULLY WRAPPED, and with a different ribbon than the ones that Fred and George sell. I’m FINE.”

Hermione noticed the blank white card and pulled on it, but nothing appeared. “Ron,” she said slowly, “did you buy these?”

Ron threw his feet up on the empty chair next to him and pointedly said, “How’s the potions essay coming along?”

“Ugh, don’t ask,” Harry said.

Ron helped himself to a fifth chocolate. “Yeah, I don’t even know how to get started.” Then his eyes lit up. The other two looked at him with some alarm. “I saw Romilda Vane reading about Gamp’s Law the other day - maybe I should go ask her! Yeah, that’s a good idea,” he said as he wiped his hands on his pants and prepared to stand up.

Harry and Hermione exchanged mortified glances and simultaneously leapt over the table to push Ron to the floor. Chocolate cauldrons went flying everywhere.

“NOOOOO!!!”


End file.
